Dream of Siam

Siam Sunshine Dave is a 40-something software developer who recently made the move to Thailand, to live there full-time with his wife and son. Although now retired, Dave maintains an interesting blog at http://blogfor.asia

Part 1 -  Life in UK

Could you tell us a little about your background. Where were you born and have you lived most of your life in UK?

I was born in Swindon, Wiltshire back in the late 60’s and I have a younger brother (by 3 years) who still lives there. My Mother & Father divorced when I was about 14 years old and after a bit of moving around the country and going from living with one parent to the other I left home as soon as I possibly could. I worked for a time in my Father's engineering company and then moved back to Wiltshire to work for an engineering company there. It wasn’t long before redundancies were called for. Being made redundant was probably a good thing as on the way to the JobCentre to sign on I saw an advertisement for College courses, so I stopped in and signed up for an HND in Computer Systems Engineering which has enabled me to make a living so far in my life. I’ve gained other qualifications since this, but this is what I consider to be the turning point in my life. I’ve always lived in the UK, it wasn’t until my 30’s that I actually started holidaying abroad with some mates.

You've been running a software business in UK until recently. How long were you doing that for and how successful was it?

Before graduating from the HND course I managed to secure a job as a Software Developer for an I.T. Company in Swindon, within two years I had worked my way up to managing a team of Developers and then moved on to greener pastures in Newbury. Working for others wasn’t what I wanted so in 1999 a couple of us formed a UK company, it didn’t work out for the other 2 directors who left the company leaving it all to me to sort out etc. Anyway, I relocated to St Albans in Hertfordshire soon after this time and finally managed to end up contracting for companies all over the UK. Since going solo I’ve worked from Leicester in the north of England, London in the south and a couple of European contracts, for example I spent a year In Vienna working for Austria Telekom, this was around the time that I married my wife, Kannika. The company wasn’t Microsoft or IBM, but it has managed to pay me a directors salary in excess of 50k per year and Kannika an ‘Office Administrators’ salary, I never wanted for work and the longest that I’ve spent looking for work was a Seven week period (to be honest 4 weeks of this time I spent in Thailand anyway) back in about 2002/3.

I know you spent some time commuting into London - how did you find that experience?

Commuting is fine if you have a flexible client who doesn’t mind you coming into and leaving the workplace outside of the normal 9 to 5 regimen. If you get a client that demands that you work at a desk from 9:00 and leave promptly at 5:00pm then commuting can be a nightmare. The worst of it for me was when (there is no ‘if’ when talking about public transport in London) the tube/DLR etc. breaks down and you are stuck in a crowded environment with temperatures going through the roof and no aircon, couple that with the fact that you usually are crammed in to these ‘cattle pens’ with just enough room to slip a sheet of paper between you and all of the other occupants and it isn’t a nice environment under these conditions. I think if you ask anyone who does a regular commute in London what they think of it you’ll get the same answer.

Do you think the UK has changed much over the last 10 years?

For me yes, definitely. There seem to be far more ‘cowboys’ around these days, unless maybe they were there before I just didn’t notice them ;o) … in my game for example there are currently far too many so-called professionals who really don’t know what they are doing. In a recent contract 10 software testers supplied by an agency were discovered to have completely made up the skills and experience on their CV’s, when confronted they told the client that the agency had asked them to lie in order to get the work, this is just one of the recent examples of the cowboy attitude that seems to have become acceptable. Look at the state of the NHS IT System for another example, the company that won the contract has already managed to mess up all of the previous contracts awarded to them yet the government continues to award this company lucrative contracts, this only goes to reinforce my opinion that poor performance is more acceptable these days, this isn’t something that I like.

What do you think about life generally in UK today?

 As a kid (I’m talking under 10 years of age), during the summer holidays my friends and I used to go out at first light and not return home again until “tea time”, of course our parents worried about us etc. but they weren’t worried that we would be knifed or shot, or maybe abducted by perverts. To the best of my knowledge these things just weren’t as commonplace as they seem today, is this due to the media being more “in your face” ?? I’d like to think so but I fear that this isn’t the whole story here. The number of immigrants in the UK is out of control in my opinion, honest hard-working tax paying UK nationals who wish to bring their foreign wives home (yes, I’m talking of Thailand but applies equally to any country) seem to be persecuted by the embassies and consulates abroad, while all of the time our own government is letting foreign nationals in through the back-door, something that we seem to be hearing a lot about here in the UK is the double-standards being set by the government, this is only one of them.

What were your main motivations for leaving UK? Was it a case of Thailand pulling, UK pushing or a bit of both?

I think it was a bit of both, with probably the UK doing slightly more pushing. Whilst I haven’t actually done the exercise, I’m sure that if you were to draw up a list of Pro’s and Con’s for each country then, unfortunately, the UK would come in a poor second best. Any Pro’s that the UK may have had, like an NHS service for example; have long been eroded by mismanagement and poor service. I have very recent (even current) experiences of the NHS service within the UK and of the private healthcare system within Thailand. From a waiting time of more than 90 minutes for my son to be seen by a [junior] nurse in the A&E department of Barnet hospital last month, to paying 500 baht for a doctor to see my son immediately whilst we were in Pattaya last year. Examples such as this only helped reinforce my decision that my family will have a better future outside of the UK.

Are there any things you miss/will miss from UK?

Nothing springs immediately to mind other than my friends and family. Recent events in my life have caused me to evaluate my priorities differently. Before December last year money, wealth and material possessions were my main driving factor. Living in the UK has a price, in my opinion that price is related to the amount of wealth that you earn or possess, the more you earn or have the higher the price associated with living in the UK. Since I’ve “seen the light” so to speak my main driving factor is now “Quality of life” for my wife and son, this is related also to the previous question. With regard to missing my friends and family, there is this thing called the “Internet” these days that allows people to use things like skype etc. for video conferencing, this will minimize the chances of the wife getting “homesick” – I think if anyone gets homesick for the UK, surprisingly, it’s going to be her.

Part 2 - Transition

When did you first travel to Asia?

Like most people I guess, I used to have a group of friends with whom I would share a social life, back in the late 1990’s one of these friends suggested to us that we start taking “boys holidays” abroad, lots of our so-called friends agreed this was a good idea, unfortunately he and I were the only ones that actually booked our first flight out. If I remember correctly I think our first port of call was Hong Kong, more specifically Kowloon. It was during one of these “boys holidays” that we discovered that short-haul flights within Asia are very cheap. We came up with this idea that we could book flights from the UK to a “base” in Asia and then use this to recce some of the other destinations, it was during one of these trips we spent some time in Bangkok, once we had been bitten by the Thailand bug we started to use Bangkok as our base and explore some of the other cities (Chiang Mai , Phuket etc. etc.). Like most people I guess we learned of Pattaya during our time in Thailand.

When did you first travel to Thailand, and what did you think of that experience?

Our first Thailand foray was (I think) 1998 or 99, my friend and I spent the millennium in Bangkok which is what makes me think our first foray was the year prior to this. The first trip absolutely blew us away, we did all of the touristy things during the days, like the floating market, the Kings palace, loads of temples etc. and then we hit places like Soi Cowboy and Nana plaza in the evenings, at our ages at the time a holiday wasn’t a holiday unless you came back completely exhausted and we certainly did that!

After your first trip to Thailand did it change your perspective of life in UK?

I think if anything it opened my eyes to the fact that there is more to life then purely working to survive. The “mai pen rai” attitude of the Thai people, coupled with the eastern “think with your heart” philosophy made me appreciate that there is more than one way to live your life.

When did you first decide to make the move permanently to Thailand?

My travelling companion and I frequently used to try to think up ways in which we could afford to maintain our assets in the UK whilst living our lives in Thailand, fortunately none of the hair-brained schemes that we dreamt up actually came to anything. December 2007 was when the decision to relocate became definite, Thailand was the most obvious choice as that is the country of my wife’s origin, we already have property there and that is the place where I feel most “at home” so to speak.

What was your wife's reaction when you first hinted at moving back to Thailand?

LOL. She wasn’t too keen initially, fortunately she fully understands that the circumstances which have caused us to make this decision in the first place override any fears that she has about the move. She has lived in the UK for 6 years now and we have both seen, first hand; some of her friends and their husbands move to Thailand, some have come back as families but penniless and some have come back as either single men or [more frequently] with newer, younger, wives. This is probably what she fears most, that I’ll suffer from “roving eyes” and want to remarry, probably to a younger model.

How did you go about planning your move to Thailand?

Good question, as you fully understand already making a decision of this magnitude isn’t something that should be taken lightly. There are so many pitfalls and ways that everything can suddenly turn upside down and leave you completely broken and penniless that to gamble not only your own future, but that of your entire family; on a move to a foreign country should be taken very seriously indeed. Of course there are some who just pack up and go, and some of them even manage to make it work for them, personally I prefer it when the odds are a little more in my favour of success. Doing the work that I do the first stop was obviously the Internet, unfortunately there is no law that says what you read on the internet is 100% completely the truth, you have to be able to research information and determine, without any possibility of being wrong, that what you think you know is absolutely the truth, there are no 99% truths about living in Thailand, you have to be 100% certain that you have all of the facts. A case in point would be Visa’s, everyone who has ever known anything about Thailand is an expert on the subject of Visas, only some of these experts don’t know the facts, preferring to make assumptions about what you can and can’t do, fortunately Kannika speaks Thai (obviously) so calling the immigration offices in Thailand to obtain the facts about what is required etc. is relatively straightforward, failing that then calling the Thai consulates in the UK is also a must.

What were the key decisions you needed to make in planning your move?

The first and foremost important decision revolved around how anyone is able to provide for themselves and their family in Thailand, with the problems associated with acquiring work permits etc. you must be 100% financially stable before you consider moving, to think that you will manage to “get by” or get a job somewhere to support yourself is a big mistake, it will never work. Once I had crunched the numbers regarding the amount of savings we have, interest rates, foreign exchange rates and all of the other variables involved I sat down and triple checked everything, for our personal situation the biggest gamble is the value of the Thai Baht, with the present weakness of both Sterling and the US Dollar against Asian currencies if we can afford to live in Thailand now, then (very slightly gambling that the exchange rates won’t get very much worse than they currently are) we can afford to live in Thailand in the future.

You are combining the move to Thailand with early retirement. Is that something you had actively planned and saved for, or did it just seem like a good idea at the time?

No, circumstances transpired that more or less left us with very limited options, with a bit of selfishness on my part I suppose. The original plan was for me to retire at 50, due to these new circumstances I’ve had to bring this plan forward by ten years.

How are you financing your new life in Thailand?

Purely with our savings and the equity from liquidating our assets, with the budget that we have drafted we are confident that we have done our sums correctly and that we have covered nearly all eventualities. Even the best laid plans and budgets overlook something, the secret to success [I believe] is knowing that you can’t cover all eventualities and to allow flexibility in catering for them, I believe that we’ve done this.

I know you try to help others who want to move to Thailand. What are some common mistakes you see Farangs making?

Personally I think the most common mistake that I have heard of is that people underestimate the cost associated with living in Thailand. I once read something on the internet where the author actually calculated the cost of living in Thailand, if you take into account local wages etc. then trying to live in the cities such as Bangkok and Pattaya etc. runs on a par with quite a few European cities. Another common mistake is not doing their own research into issues like Visa’s and Work Permits etc. instead preferring to solicit advice from bar-fly’s.

What advice would you give to people planning a move to Thailand?    

Triple check all of your plans, Two pieces of advise that I have come to appreciate:

1)    You never regret the things you have done as much as the things you haven’t.

2)    The rule of the Seven P’s:- Prior Planning and Preparation prevents a “piss-poor” performance.

Part 3 - Thailand

You own a house in Pattaya. What made you pick Pattaya as your home in Thailand?

Pattaya was a favourite destination of my travelling companion and myself for a number of years. I guess that over all of the time I’ve spent in Thailand then probably 80% of it has been spent in Pattaya. I’ve visited places like Phuket, Chiang Mai, Koh Samet, Koh Samui, Phi Phi etc. etc. but Pattaya was always “Home”, buying property here as opposed to anywhere else was a decision that was extremely easy to make. With the property market in Pattaya currently seeing a boom on European proportions I’d like to think that we have made the right choice. 

How did you find the process of buying a house in Thailand? Was it problematic?

Not at all, fortunately as a family we have numerous friends who actually live in Pattaya, their horror stories, recommendations and warnings stood us in good stead. The first rule that we made (and have always stuck to) is to always use a reputable lawyer, one who actually has studied law and passed the required examinations. Just because there is a certificate on the wall of someone’s office doesn’t mean that they really are a lawyer. Always ask for, and follow up on; references.

Was the buy/rent decision a hard one for you to make?

No, personally I can’t see the sense in paying someone else’s mortgage unless you really can’t afford to pay for all of the ‘up front’ costs associated with purchasing property. I’ve gone so far as to recommend to two of my friends who currently rent properties in Pattaya that they seriously consider buying somewhere to live.

What do you like most about Thailand?

It has to be the tropical climate first, followed in joint second place by the cost of living and the nature of the real Thai people, not the ones that you see in tourist spots like Pattaya etc. but the real Thai people, the one’s who live in places like Isaan or the jungles in the North etc.

Does the current political situation in Thailand worry you at all?

Sometimes maybe, but on the whole not especially so, I think that Thailand as a country has grown to realize that its [relatively recent] wealth is founded on tourism, if any political situation were to impact on tourism with too great an effect then the country’s economy would soon be in trouble.

What do you think the pros and cons are of living in Thailand?

The Pros are probably obvious, the climate and cost of living must feature quite prominently on people’s reasons for wanting to live there. As for the cons, the only one that I can think of straight away is the difficulty around visas and work permits. Whilst I fully appreciate the reasons behind the stringency of the rules etc. I think that the Thai government may well be cutting off their own noses in this regard, a lot of people that I know are considering moving to places such as Cambodia or Malaysia etc. where work permits are relatively easy to come by and there aren’t any rules regarding duration of stay for expats etc. I don’t think it would take a great deal for the “up and coming” countries to take the lead over Thailand with regard to expats wanting to live there.

What do you see as the main challenges that your new life in Thailand will bring?

I already speak a little Thai, I’m seriously thinking about learning to read and write it as well. I did start learning to write the alphabet a couple of years ago, unfortunately here in the UK there just wasn’t enough time to dedicate as much as is needed to do this properly, with my retirement hopefully this will change.

What are your long term goals in Thailand?

Apart from maybe learning to read and write Thai? – Kannika is thinking of starting a small business, purely to keep her occupied and possibly/hopefully to give us a bit of pocket money so I’ll probably end up being seconded in as a “consultant” of sorts, my own personal goal is simple:  To learn to enjoy life, and to make the most of it. Earning money and accumulating wealth is now of secondary importance.

Part 4 - Thai women

How and when did you meet your Thai wife?

I would be in trouble if I didn’t remember this ;o) … 28th/29th of December 2000, my mate and I had just returned from spending all of Christmas in Phuket and were planning on spending New Years Eve partying in Bangkok. At that time Kannika was working as an au-pair for a Thai family and was on her single day off per month, on her way back home after doing her favourite pastime, shopping for food ;o). We struck up a conversation, her with very limited English and me with [at that time] almost zero Thai, the rest as they say is history.

I understand that you maintained a long distance relationship with your wife for a couple of years. How did you make that work?

As stated before, I was working for Telekom Austria when I first met her, fortunately when you work for a Telecommunications company the cost of calling Thailand every day was free ;o). With free telephone calls and daily emails we managed to get through it, I would never say that distance relationships are easy, but if you are prepared to put in the effort it can work, jealousy and suspicion are your worst enemies at these times.

How do you find being married to a Thai woman?

The difference in culture is usually a major factor in our disagreements. There are some things that, no matter how you try to understand them; as a westerner you will never understand. So long as you understand that you can’t expect her to be like a farang woman then everything will be fine. Of course them not being like farang women is what makes us love them anyway.

What advice would you give to a farang looking for a good Thai wife?

Definitely don’t expect to find a good wife (of any nationality) on the internet, dating agencies are fine but you really have to get out into the real Thailand to find the real Thai people, nearly all of the Thais that you will meet in places like Phuket and Pattaya are there specifically to make a living off of the tourists/foreigners there, if you marry someone like that then I reckon you will end up paying for the rest of your time together as well. I think I would advise something like: Go to Thailand, spend at least a month travelling around the country and meeting the Thai people in their natural environments. Don’t force or rush anything, if you meet someone you like then take the time to get to know them, and for them to get to know you. Not everyone who you think would make a good wife/husband etc. actually will.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Go to Thailand, spend as much time as you need to familiarise yourself with the Thai people and their culture, then apply what you’ve learned to your UK lifestyle. You won’t regret it for a minute.

Oh, and if you see us in Thailand then be sure to stop us and say hello.